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Anal play can be a whole lotta fun (and lead to a completely new world of orgasms). But venturing into the world of anal sex toys for the first time can also be pretty intimidating, which is why we tapped experts for their advice on how to get started—and how to get the most out of it. Here’s what they have to say.

For starters, the anal region is rich in sensitive nerve endings that can make it a pleasure gold mine. And since the tissue between the rectum and vagina is so thin, sometimes anal pressure stimulates the front wall of the vagina, where the G-spot is. That makes it a surprisingly effective way to get that elusive G-spot stimulation. And if you’ve got a prostate, anal play can be a great way to target the “P-spot,” a walnut-sized gland inside the pelvis between the bladder and rectum.

Lisa Finn, a sex educator at the sex toy boutique Babeland, says relaxation is key to enjoying anal play. “The rectum holds a lot of tension,” she tells SELF. “We naturally tense up when something new is introduced to that area. So if you’re feeling a bit anxious about anal play, those muscles may not be as willing to open to allow for penetration.”

You can start by stimulating the outside of your anus with your fingers or a vibrating toy. The external stimulation alone may feel great, so you can leave it at that, or continue to relax as you work your way up to penetration.

If you’re with a partner, Finn suggests asking them to stimulate the area with their tongue or give you a relaxing full-body massage before making any other moves. Let your partner know what feels good, what doesn’t, and what sensations you’d like to explore further. Communication is key.

And if something hurts, stop. Finn says anal sex should never hurt or feel uncomfortable. She also warns against using numbing creams. “Numbing creams [can temporarily dull] pain receptors, which are our body’s way of telling us something is not right,” she says. “You can potentially create lasting damage to your body if you continue to force your body through something it is trying to warn you is not okay.”

Since the anal region doesn’t create its own lubrication, using lube is a must—and according to Finn, saliva won’t cut it. Finn recommends using a thick, long-lasting silicone-based lube that will reduce friction between bodies and toys, and are also great to use with condoms. Which brings me to an important point: If you’re sharing toys with a partner, or using toys both anally and vaginally, it’s essential that you use a fresh condom between each new insertion.

But wait! If you’re using silicone toys (which some of those included below are), you should opt for a water-based lubricant. Silicone-based lubes erode silicone toys, which means you’ll have to replace them more frequently. You can still pair water-based lubricant with condoms, and you’ll still want to switch an old condom out for a new one between insertions.